My Love, My Heart, My World

Photo courtesy of TM Photography

Meet Jason, love of my life, my everything. He is my rock, supporter of all decisions, my biggest fan and biggest critic. I am one of the lucky ones. I found him first, or should I say God made him for me. He has been by my side since I was 18 years old. 

We met in the Target parking lot in Great Falls, MT. His first duty station with the US Air Force. I can't ever say it was love at first site or that from day one we knew we would be together. I can say that we made a connection, we had full on honesty in our friendship that would later bloom to be a wonderful relationship. 

When we first met in think we were definitely too young to be falling in love and saying "I do". We were most certainly two young adults having fun being young, enjoying life. Slowly we grew together. Grew into adulthood, and we chose to take each other along on this ride called life. Choosing Jason was the best decision of my life. 

I was not fully aware of my feelings for him beyond a friendship until he left for a deployment to Guatemala for 4 months. It was as I said good bye to him that night in December when I felt the air sucked out if my chest, a sinking in my heart, as if it got on the bus with him. I felt empty as I drove away. Then the realization that I loved him with my whole being hit me. I couldn't ever imagine living without this man at my side. When I see myself as a little old lady, I see him next to me, holding my hand, still loving me. 

Photo courtesy of TM Photography 

It was while he was away on this deployment that I wrote him a letter (no Internet back in 1998 and phone was delayed horribly). I was more comfortable expressing my feelings to him in a letter so that should he not feel the same I wouldn't be so humiliating. The response was not what I expected.  Matter of fact it wasn't a response besides, "we'll talk when I get home". Excruciating three months ahead. I was hopeful since he wrote "love you always" as his sign off on the letter. He also called often, it was difficult to have a conversation due to the delay but I got to hear his voice and knew he was ok. 

Then there was my discouragement from my own self, I thought for sure he wouldn't want to be with me so when he returned I had all intentions of breaking off our arrangement if friends with benefits and telling him to disregard what I wrote. Jason had other plans. He asked me not to give up on us, he told me he loved me too and one day he would marry me. Everything kind of spun and went really fast after that. Before long we were living together and he was off again on another deployment to Bolivia. It was while he was there that he officially asked me to marry him upon his return, promising a wedding at our one year mark but he didn't want to wait much longer to be married. Of course I said yes, who wouldn't say yes to him, he's perfect.

Ok I'm not delusional and he's not perfect but he is my perfect match. We got married with the sun shining down on us on a court house balcony, in Great Falls, MT on September 27th, 1999. This year will be 14 years, and I'm still loving every minute of this life. I cried that day, couldn't believe I found someone that accepted me and loved me like a Queen. On that balcony as we said I Do, he wiped my tears from my cheeks and at that moment any fear for our relationship disappeared. I knew he would always be there, to make me laugh, to listen to me complain, and to always wipe away my tears. He was now my husband, my family, my home. He was were my heart lay to be protected. 

 Photo courtesy of TM Photography

To this day he carries my heart. He is away a lot in his career but wherever he goes my heart leaves with him. He has allowed me to grow as a person. He has allowed me to have my crazy moments and be the dreamer that I am. He makes me laugh and shows me life doesn't have to be so serious. He has shown me compassion, selflessness, and generosity to the max. He's the most caring person I know of all individuals. If you ever get a chance to cross his path I just know you would live him too. 

He is liked by all and trusted by many but I am the luckiest of all to have him come into my life, because I got to keep him. He said "will you marry me", and I said "I do". He has given me till death but I give him through eternity. My love has never faltered, it has only grown more deeply. I have watched him grow from an outstanding young airmen to a master sergeant in his career. I met him as a 19 year old teenage boy and have had front row tickets to the wonderful man he has grown to be. 

Don't get me wrong, we have fought, argued, been mad at each other but we have used those opportunities to grow stronger rather than apart. I look forward to many more years with this man. Whether we have kids or we don't, or if we only have our little puppies, as long as I have him I am complete, whole, LOVED. 

Thank you Babe, thank you for all you do for me, give me, support me, and most of all for loving me. I'll take the life sentence over and over gain as long as it means a life with you. You are my heart, my world, my everything.